In the beginning

There they stood, hand in hand, on the very edge of an unknown and unnamed universe mere moments after its birth.  Swirls of multicolored dust and lights scattered and danced across a blank canvas.  In what would be known as seconds, clouds of galaxies, bubbling over with new life smaller than a fleck, burst forth.  In every direction, tiny diamond pinpoints raced ahead, signaling that this new creation was very pleased with how its makers had designed it.

The male, fresh-faced with an ageless appearance, looked over and smiled at the female.  He watched her eyes shine and marvel at what they had just done.  This same scene had replayed countless times, yet the joyous glow hovering upon her lovely cheeks always brought a renewed sensation of warmth fluttering within his chest. When they worked their magic together, every time was better than the first.

With the tip of his finger, he moved a lock of her hair and gently tucked it behind her ear.

“What shall we do now?”

It always pleased him to follow her lead.  He lived to make her happy.  His very existence hinged upon filling her heart with glee.

She turned to him, her gaze swimming with unspoken adoration.

“I think we should make…love.”

The corners of his mouth quirked into an impish grin.

“As you wish.”

Turning to face the new dawn and the endless horizons stretching out before them, together they strolled forth.  Their flawless forms became smaller and smaller until they stood within the boundaries of the world they had just sculpted.  As one, as always, they were ready and restless to explore the shores of their newest homeland.

.

.

.

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iamlenise

How do you think it all began?

Beginnings_Image

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Perspective. Goals. Peace.

I woke up before dawn today.  Not unusual.  My sleep cycle is extremely short.

But today I was active.

Pulling my Spirit, body, mind, Consciousness and Awareness into one fluid and balanced state.

Something new.

I think exercise is more than just physical, it’s an entirely whole experience.

Building on that same energy throughout the day.

Sharing it when I can, but not depleting my own reserve of wholeness and purpose.

Shine bright.

Be a beacon.

Carry forward.

Journal July 2 2018.

The Bond – Chapter 2.1

When he had made the perfect knot in the tie, Jake stared at his reflection. So long ago but it seemed like only yesterday. A small smile tugged the corners of his lips. He ran a hand through his wavy, cinnamon brown hair. Today was going to be a big celebration; the biggest in his life, thus far. He needed to look perfect. No, better than perfect – flawless.

Continue reading “The Bond – Chapter 2.1”

112913 / 1630

Shay

—–

“The queen is missing.”

I awake to whispers from a fading dream haunting my thoughts.  Remnants of that other reality ripple through my body.  The howls of the beasts roaming outside these thin walls have startled me from my sleep, but the world that I have just departed from beckons me to return to the comforts of its enchanted realm.  When I finally recall where I am and that the horrid world that I truly belong to surrounds me on all sides, my breath becomes ragged and my heart nearly fails me.  Heavy, deep sobs and sighs burst from within the tightness of my lungs.  Silent screams were the worst to bear, so I allow the dark depths of my loneliness and agony to fill the air all around me.  My cries are silenced by the sound of heavy banging from the other side of the wall behind me.  My neighbor must have become annoyed with listening to my strangled tears.  As soon as I grew quiet, so did he.

Continue reading “112913 / 1630”

i can’t stop

thinking about the future. hoping to forget the past. struggling through the now.

no matter what. my heart beats strong. my spirit pulses free. my mind journeys beyond the moment.

a runner. waiting for the perfect race. counting down the seconds. taking the pose. head bowed. knees arched. fingers pressed into the earth.

ready?

set?

the world crawls to an aching stillness.

all of creation fixes into perfect silence.

the pop hits the air

stay the course

keep focused

pound the dirt until every limb burns

win.

there is no other choice

i can’t stop

until i touch the void

step across the finish

bring down the boundaries

break the binds

see the eternal light

i am

victorious.

.

.

.

.

lenise

Olympic pictogram Athletics

On This Morning

Tropinin Girl with roses. Vasily Andreevich Tropinin. 1850.

I want today to be a fresh start.

I want to open my opens and see possibilities, not dead ends.

On this morning, I want to be Free to be happy, content, hopeful.

I need to feel my Spirit overflowing with radiance, touched by a spark of Divinity.

Whatever I accomplish in these small hours, if it be one small task or the moving of a great mountain, may my works have Meaning.

May my one Smile bring joy to as many people as it touches, and as many who will receive the love hiding within its gleam.

Today, I want to Believe. I want to Live. I want to Soar beyond the Great Heavens.

~

iamlenise

We Are

Suðuroy_rainbow2_wikicommons_ErikChristensen

Writers.

Lovers.

Humble.

Bold.

Inspired.

Invincible.

Powerful.

Hopeful Romantics.

United in a Quest.

For Truth. Grace. Perfect Passion. Revelations.

Waiting to be heard.

Wanting to be held.

Willing to take a chance.

Hoping to be embraced.  As we are.

Find what you Love.

Seek what you Live for.

And never let go.

*

Some will laugh.

Some will scoff.

Others will flash a green eye.

But we.

We know.

A brilliant and resilient New Dawn awaits.

Those who are brave enough.

To take One Step Forward.

Closer.

Toward the Magnificent.  Glorious.  Horizon.

*

*

Special thanks to.. ambitiouspoet and melanie jean juneau for blessing me with the Always There When I Need You Award.  And ANOTHER Round of Smiles and Hugs to The Nomadic Soliloquist for a new quintet of awards.

This is a late announcement, but the joy is still overflowing :~)

*

I can only think of one other person to extend this prize to.. tornadoday ..A wonderful and talented poetess.  Thank you, Dear Bobbi.  Your words truly inspire me.

*

iamlenise

Happy Summer!

By Yun Shouping (1633–1690) via Wikimedia Commons

Hey All..It’s time for me to take a quick hiatus..Many thanks to all of you who visit and drop me cute notes that I absolutely adore!  I will still be visiting and signing smiley faces, just not releasing anything new for a little bit..Wishing you a bright, safe, fun-filled, sweet..and romantic..opening to the Summer Season..Three cheers for writers..we make the world spin upside down and do awesome back-flips too :~)

PS..If anyone can tell me what this Chinese poem says..I will love you always!!

Blessings and best wishes ~lenise~

The Turning of the Key

Recently, a very nice fellow blogger extended to me the honor of receiving a bundle of awards..And along with those awards came a list of ten questions..very intriguing questions that seemed to be aimed right at my heart and mind..

As I read each one, I felt a sort of stirring in my soul..A kind of subtle euphoria..I had found another set of keys..

Who am I?  The ever elusive question that I continually ponder, for it seems I am never the same person for more than a single moment at a time..

Like the wind, I wander and shift with the turn of the earth, rise and fall then rise again with all the changes..upheavals and spirals..towering mountains and refreshing streams..of life..of a day..of an instant..

Yet..I seek a wholeness..a certain peace that can only come from discovering the truth behind the reason of my existence..the purpose of being here and now..inhaling memories of a forgotten romance..exhaling dreams of tender caresses and sweet kisses..

The keys to solving the mystery of..I am..are scattered, but every new and unexpected experience seems to pull me ever closer toward encountering..embracing..becoming enraptured by..what awaits beyond the opening of the door..

..Alas, since I am such a quiet, slightly awkward girl..I am always reluctant to share too much of myself..This time, however, I felt the urge to reveal another layer of *me* ..at the very least..bits of who I think I am..who I would like to be..

..If it is your wish to do so..my answers are here..

Continue reading “The Turning of the Key”

The Heart That Trembles

sadangel_googlesearch_c_to_originalartist

standing so far away

waiting for your eyes to see

but only a blank stare pierces me

please..don’t let the wall raised around my soul fail..me

please..don’t let me fall any deeper under the spell that is..you

my lips quiver

my pen drops

another love letter you’ll never read

another piece of myself i’ll never send

if only you knew how i silently call out to you

my heart trembles

steeling myself against your icy touch

awaiting a warm kiss i will never feel

fighting, for one more pulse of life

crying, for one last chance at love

~lenise~

All I Live For

googlesearch_c_to_originalphotographer“Theseus…Stop.”  Phaedra held her hand up, as if that one gesture alone had the power to make him halt his retreating footsteps.  As if by will alone, she could somehow undo his stubbornness.

When his thudding steps, clad in heavy leather sandals, would not pause but continued onward toward his fate…his inevitable doom, she called out to him once more.

“Please,” she whispered on the heels of a raspy breath that made her lungs ache.

He stopped, but refused to turn toward her.  It pained her to part with him under such terrible conditions.  No husband and wife should ever separate on the wake of a turbulent disagreement.  All she sought was to save his life.  To keep him living…breathing…walking…existing upon this earth with her, if only for one more day. Had she been able to convince him to forestall the start of his campaign for one more night of blistering love making, one more day of heated kisses…perhaps she would be able to erase the notion of marching into certain death from his mind completely.  She nearly laughed.  Her mighty champion would never abandon his honor or forsake his duties…not even for her…not even for their unborn child, still nestling in its mother’s warm womb.  The man Phaedra had chosen to wed, had given her heart and even her soul to,  would give every drop of his warrior’s blood, even his very life, if it would save his people from slavery and annihilation.

Continue reading “All I Live For”

To Do List

googlesearchimages_c_to_original_photograherWrite

Write

Write til my fingers cramp

Write about everything

til the words live on their own

til I can feel my heart beat again

til the possibilities don’t scare me

til the veil is lifted

twilight gone

sun beams break free

.

Write

til I find what I’m looking for

til I understand what I’m living for

.

.

.

Just Write.

til I feel the kiss of forever

til I embrace what

Iam.

What..I will be.

What..I long for.

Love..so true

.

.

.

.

will i ever find you

.

.

.

~lenise~

v2

WordPress Family Award

I will keep this short and sweet…A super cool guy on WP passed this wonderful…awesome…amazing award on to me….It’s been so long since I received one of these great prizes that I was truly shocked that he did so.  It really added the icing on the cake to make this one of my best weeks in months.

Thank you to…. http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com …who also happens to be the 6x winner of the Best Moments Award!  Seriously, his blog is great…Hope you take a minute to visit there :~)

His only rule was to pass it along to 10 others…Sadly, I stepped away from WordPress for awhile and lost contact with a lot of my peeps (hoping to cross virtual paths with some new ones), so I can only think of a few great writers, poets, and artists who have made my return a very pleasant one and who have also confirmed that WP is one of the only social networks where I get a sense of *positive* community…

…For every like and comment you have so graciously given, or for each moment spent taking the time to read my rambling thoughts…Thank you and I’m extending the WordPress FamilyAward on to you!

Andy is always my #1 ..He’s on hiatus, but his blog is fabulous..great smiles there

http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/

Dan’s prose just make my heart melt!

http://danroberson.wordpress.com/

Bobbi’s poetry cause the spirit to leap

http://tornadoday.wordpress.com/

Wendell’s poems are filled with truth and inspiration

http://foreverpoetic.wordpress.com/

My favorite Facebook pal..we haven’t chatted in a while, but I’m gonna’ msg him soon

http://justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com/

And here are 5 6 more weblogs that I love to visit as often as possible:

http://aquacompass7.wordpress.com/

http://gtsphotos2012.wordpress.com/

http://mickyblueeyes.wordpress.com/

http://rastelly.com/

http://ourexcelsior.wordpress.com/

http://hillsofherchastity.wordpress.com/

Sorry, this was supposed to be short!  Have an awesome Sunday all!

~lenise~

Looking at the moon

Looking at the moon. Pamela. Gardiner. Wiki Commons
Looking at the moon. Pamela. Gardiner. Wiki Commons

Like a child…with eyes pinned on the silver coin hovering within the folded cape of a starless night…I keep a constant vigil …an aching feeling that what I’m searching for…something…a wink? a smile? a nod? …will manifest…A face…a name…a purpose…a reason…Me…But who am I against the backdrop of eternity? At the beginning (and the end) of the day…of the moment…of all that is and will ever be…Where do I fit in?…Was I ever meant to?

~lenise~

The Perfect Kiss

The Kiss. Francesco Hayez. Wiki Commons.
The Kiss. Francesco Hayez.

Has such an event ever existed?  Has such a myth ever rang true?  What dragons must a hero slay?  What sacrifice must a maiden make?  What river must be crossed?  What valley must be traveled?  What sweet serenade must be played? Before heart-stopping, pulse-pounding, chest-quivering love finally pours forth and breathes soul-stirring enchantment into one eternally-blissful, divinely-inspired…

kiss

so sweet, the angels weep

~lenise~

Vitamin R -or- Use the Key

Miller_Place_Beach_at_Dawn;_Red_Sky (1)

what did i miss?

what word – phrase – pause – did i miss?

that would make everything – me – make sense.

pause

i’ve heard this – before – where?

why didn’t i notice – pause – then?

turn it off – pause – or turn it up?

shake off the deep – sleep –  pause

or fall further?

touch – the mirror – step through?

in the end (or the beginning)

I will be, what I will be.

dusk – or – pause – dawn?

invisible – to some.

mystery – to others.

never quite what I – am

ever imagined

all

would become – pause

closure

Again

Original Artwork by H.K. Abell. Shay in the Dark.
Original Artwork by H.K. Abell. Shay in the Dark.

Here I am…again…fingers poised above the keyboard, mind wandering away by the pull of the soul-stirring musical echoes from Pandora’s box.   The magic hovering in the crisp spring air draws me from my shell and out into the sunlit sky beaming with endless possibilities.  No matter my mood, no matter where life has led me…like a gentle turn of the breeze, I return to this one place…ever so eager to spin a new tale of romance.  Though my pen has been ominously dormant for a long season, spring  evokes an undeniable urgency to create sweet, haunting dreams of what could be…if only he and I could finally intertwine…goosebumps flood over golden-brown skin at the thought.  Now, here I am…again…standing at the wandering crossroads, my mind strangely drawn toward the twilight-shadowed path this time.  A dark hero, brimming with passion and peril, seems to be struggling to be freed from his solitude and to emerge from my fingertips…It’s always darkest before dawn…A smirk tugs the curved corners of pink lips…A flash sparks from sienna-shaded eyes…A pacing mind dares to take a closer step toward the edge of forever and to peer into the mystical beyond…………

Divine

Remember the kiss, promises sealed in forever

Harsh winds, steer thoughts astray

But the heart always returns

to what it knows, to be

right and true

Pure

leaves bud on awakening limbs

Eternal

twilight dipped in lavender shade

Blazing

silver trails along a golden dawn

You, seeker

I, wanderer

You, sun

I, moon

You, love

I, in love

Always

words on a page

lives in a song

Let the moment wash over, like a quiet summer rain

Soar to heights, beyond the rapture

A touch of sunlight

grazing upon full lips

softer than a lover’s kiss

Feel

the pull

of destiny

*(^-^)*

Love’s Kiss

“Impossible,” she whispered.  The defiant word hung somberly in the warm breaths they shared.

     Though Marissa refused to speak her hope into existence, she finally understood the secret that bonded her spirit to Marcello with such startling intensity…almost at first sight

Thoughts of You

Thoughts of you

keep my pen poised

to narrate a literary symphony

on pages in the eternal notebook

clutched close to my heart

¨

Thoughts of you

move my soul

toward heavenly heights

inspire my lips to confess

whispered words of love

stir memories of a last embrace

gentle kisses

softer than the streak of a teardrop

cascading down a warm cheek

¨

Thoughts of you

revive hope

dispel doubt

bring me to life, once more..LL♥

¨

Text ©2012 Lenise Lee Pubn.  All Rights Reserved.

Sometimes I forget

I started off writing this post with a bit of sadness in my heart and a tiny..almost imperceptable..tear in one eye.  

Just like wandering off for a long walk and then noticing that I have become lost in an unfamiliar stretch of woods, I sometimes I forget..become completely oblivious…to the reasons why I dropped everything to explore this unknown path toward becoming a real author.  It’s so easy to become lost in the hype of following sales and stats, to become swayed by reviews and ravings, and to settle into helplessness and discouragement when the future suddenly dims and possibilities seem to dry up like a dying river.  Sometimes I forget to follow my own advice and to never stop imaging that dreams sometimes do come to vivid life and that love does have the power to conquer all obstacles.  I sometimes forget to dismiss my fear of failure and to control my impatience to cross that final finish line called ‘success’.  Sometimes I forget to just write! and to embrace whatever the energy flowing from my spirit and pouring through my fingertips produces.

A few nights ago, I attended my little niece’s eighth grade graduation.  Her principal topped the ceremony off with a rousing speech that had adults and children alike nodding our heads with a renewed gleam of hope and optimism in our sparkling eyes..In short, she said to find out what stirs your heart and to pursue that love every day with every ounce of energy you can summon up..She said our passion to pursue our dreams should set the world on fire and should motivate others to earnestly do the same..We should strive to achieve our goals and encourage others along the way.  It left me wondering…sincerely pondering…Is this what I have been doing over this past year of full-time writing?  Or have I been twiddling my thumbs while waiting for that mythical ‘easy’ button to drop in my lap?  Have I been pursuing my dream with bold effort or with a shy glance?  More importantly, have I been using my persuasive words to light a spark of hope and enthusiasm in the lives of those I encounter..whether on e-paper or in real life..or been selfishly waiting for my own praise and recognition?

Every now and again..somewhere between budgeting and blogging…drafting, editing and pushing off nightmares that I’ve wasted my life by putting off the opportunity to become the doctor my mom always told everyone I would someday be..I forget that this is my life, and I only get one, so I need to live it to the fullest and stop shunning the wonderful gift, and the rare opportunity to share this talent, that I’ve been blessed with.  Even as I finish-up typing and re-reading this post, I can feel a twinge of optimism for a brighter tomorrow returning.

It is my belief that we all want to know..without any doubts or confusion..what our purpose is..What tugs us from bed, pushes us toward the door, and urges us to trudge through yet another day of sometimes very steep hills and extremely deep valleys, other than merely trying to exist for another twenty-four hours?  Some people are born to make others laugh, some to inspire, others to heal, many to be great parents and role models…I think my place in this world is to add a few splashes of colorful romance to a sometimes mundane workday..to evoke daydreams of forever on a quiet afternoon..to share hints of my inner world..resilient hope, everlasting love..the slightest glimmer of faith that perhaps true happiness is awaiting us to break free and to reach out and capture that perfect moment of bliss..to touch the golden horizon.  Every once in a while I get a reminder that I’ve helped a random heart to feel such vibrant emotions.  In those fleeting minutes, I begin to remember what it means to be alive and worthy of the space I occupy on this beautiful earth…Hugs and smiley faces to all..LL♥

Oracle

Shimmering eyes flutter open, as a golden dawn caresses golden skin

Arising mightier than the phoenix
Heartbeat burning brighter than the pulsing orbs of the Pleiades

Curious infatuation draws a timid soul..ever onward..

Across sparkling moonbeams swimming over the midnight ocean
Lifted upon the icy tail of a comet surnamed joy
Passing the eternal etching of Perseus, guarding Andromeda with endless, vigilant devotion
Pausing to admire the silvery sketch of Theseus, embracing Phaedra for all time

Foretelling hope
Heralding peace
Unbound love

Ever onward, beyond the limits of infinite twilight
Journeying toward the spiraling edge of a spinning milky way

I open my eyes for the very first time, as the golden dawn caresses my golden skin..LL♥

Text Copyright 2012 Lenise Lee Pubn. All Rights Reserved.


Cheers! My first Blogger Nomination!

I am so late with announcing this! Mostly because I was in shock and awe for quite awhile..basking in the warming glow that captured my mind when a fellow blogger included me on his fabulous list of nominees.

Thanks so much to C.C. Charron for making me feel extra special!  If you haven’t already done so, please hop over to his versatile e-gallery Off The Wall

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Here are the requirements for this award:

1. Display the award logo somewhere on the blog.

2. Link back to the blog of the person who nominated you.

3. State seven things about yourself.

4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs.

5. Notify those bloggers that they have been nominated and of the award’s requirements.

7 Random Facts about me:

1. Favorite actor / actress – Nicholas Cage and Sandra Bullock  (I’ve seen almost all of their individual movies…yes, even ‘All About Steve’ and ‘Valley Girl’ 🙂 )

2. My new hobby is Etymology ..language and words unite us as a society, why not learn how it all started?

3. I think chocolate should be its own food group

4. I love any dish crafted together in any combination of warm bread, red sauce, and cheese

5. I love nature..from a close distance..as in, lovely photos or short walks with socks pulled up to my knees, and running frantically from villainous-looking bugs and squiggly things

6. Christmas Eve is still the most exciting day of the year for me 😀 ..I love giving presents..and coupons!!

7. I love my family very much..None of us live more than fifteen minutes apart

Enough about me..Here is the best part..I can share the love with others much more deserving of the recognition for their inspiring and unique writing and/or imagery (my top two are well-loved for their contagious smiley faces and kind comments):

The 15 Nominees are…

1.  My story to you.. ♥

2.  Aina’s Blog ♥

3.  Avowel ♥

4.  L&L Photography ♥

5. rastelly ♥

6. PRESIDENTS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM

7. kenyanideology

8. Source of Inspiration

9. Kira Moore’s Closet

10. FOREVER POETIC

11. ♡ The Tale Of My Heart ♡

12.  AmazinglyBrash

13. LadyRomp

14. STORYTELLER

15. Ratzone’s Blog

Please visit their blogs for a smile, a laugh, to share an intriguing thought, or to be in the presence of creativity at its peak.

Have an awesome night all! ..LL♥ Continue reading “Cheers! My first Blogger Nomination!”

Just Breathe

…I went for a walk in the rain yesterday and experienced the second most-refreshing moment of the day (of the past month actually)…

I try to escape the keyboard at least once a week (twice on the weekend for good behavior 🙂 ) but my mind was restless for a break from staring at the screen.  As I looked out the window, a beautiful sunrise had transitioned over to heavy cloud cover during the latter part of the morning.  The sky was still relatively serene, so I decided to take a chance on trying to out-race the approaching April shower to the nearby park.  Walking along in quiet seclusion down the riverbank, I ended up at the sandy cutout where fisherman, kayakers, and rowers launch their boats.  I watched the river stroll by like a sheet of shimmering silver, it’s pulsing waves rolling up and over the small sand dunes a few feet away.  It was at that moment when I did something I almost never do…I stopped thinking.  I let go of worries, anxieties, frustrations, even hopes and dreams and just existed in that very second.  Slight breeze rolling over my skin, filtered sunlight flowing from above, a family of Canadian geese being carried along with the gentle current, raindrops beginning to sprinkle across the watery surface and pelt the soft sandy shore in front of me.  Standing there in awe and silence, I realized some amazing discoveries…I could breathe…I could see…I could hear…I could feel…I had two legs to stand on and two arms to stretch toward the heavens with.  How had I forgotten about all of these wonderful blessings?  Better question, why would I allow myself to forget to be thankful for every chance I can use them to truly experience the fullness of life?  Even though there was no one else standing nearby, I had a sudden feeling I wasn’t watching the glimmering water alone.  I’m never truly alone, never as heart-broken as I sometimes feel, never as discouraged as I like to believe.  Why?  Because every once in awhile…exactly when I am in greatest need…I get a glimpse at my true inspiration…I stop trying to fall in love with people, things, or places, and I start to pursue my perfect romance once again…

A finger drops from the clouds and I connect with forever…Just breathe, wrap yourself in this moment, cherish what you have, share a smile with a distant stranger…Live, laugh, love

The day had turned cloudy, but sunrise was still dawning in my heart…I didn’t even mind that my freshly pressed hair was working overtime to curl up again 😛 ..LL♥

Sunrise in my heart

I was up before sunrise this morning…I even out-raced the birds for a chance at witnessing the birth of dawn over the eastern horizon, lol.  I could easily assume it was my nagging allergies that pulled me from a tangle of dreams, but I choose to believe it was more than a simple twitch from sneaky pollen that opened my eyes and kick-started a buoyant optimism deep within me…I haven’t felt joy this intense touch my heart in many waking days.  I have no way of foretelling what will transpire five minutes from now, much less the entire day, yet I feel so happy and hopeful at this moment.  I even found a great theme song to listen to…Fist pumping and air drums at 5 AM are an awesome way to start the day…at least in  my humble opinion 🙂  This is a peace so beautiful and genuine that I wanted to share it with as many others as possible.  Stranger or friend, I wish the same renewal of mind and spirit for you today as well..Smiles, hugs, kisses, laughs, and lots of love to all during this new day on planet Earth..LL♥

In dreams

looking for something i can’t find…waiting for a dream never destined to cross the threshold of reality…listening for a voice that is now only a faint memory…days spent walking with a spirit of hope, nights wrapped up in lonely disappointment…the very moment i am resigned to let go, to seek after a new source of inspiration, i finally have a chance encounter with you..but only in dreams…

‘This is the place where you come to remember that I will always love you…”

The breath of warm winds caress my golden skin, calling me from a restless sleep.  Light brown eyes touch a pale lavender sky filled with thick patches of milky white cotton dancing across the seamless horizon, floating ever onward, pushing across the canvas of eternity.  Against the backdrop of forever, the majestic mountains of contemplation boldly stand guard over the inhabitants of this lost and sacred chimera.  The rustle of a gentle breeze stirs up gallant waves across the ocean of emerald-green circling round me.

The soft touch from a strong finger moves tenderly along the curve of my chin, drawing my eager sight toward the graceful face I have longed to see for so long.  Serene eyes as clear as liquid crystal instantly capture me.  Words as satisfying as a divine kiss ease uncertainty. A question answered, a promised renewed.

“You alone are my perfect love. Before you, none…after you, none…Never forget that I’m only a whisper away.”

The tickle from a stream of orange sunlight floating through white curtains coax my dark lashes apart, prying me from the secure hold of a much yearned for peace. Sweet melodies of an angelic choir fade away with the rushing azure tides of the ensuing morning skyline..LL♥

Stormy Night

Cminda Sameba, stormy day
Cminda Sameba, stormy day (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A smiling face, halfway hidden by a fluffy pillow, looks up at me. Love beams bright in that one blue eye.  A sudden stream of tears washes away the endearing vision.  When my eyes open, the dream vanishes back behind the veil of thin air it was summoned from. I know I should abandon these wandering thoughts of you, but the memories refuse to budge.

Never consummated, always a seductive fantasy we danced and teased our way around.  Sweet kisses, cozy hugs, tender words spoken under moonlit skies. That was our story, and it was perfection.  

Kind people say that I should move on toward new horizons. They can’t see how the sun doesn’t appear as golden to me now that I’m perched up on this hilltop all alone.  Lonely in a room filled with lively souls. A feeling that no one else will ever quite understand until the experience is draped around them. Their symphony of laughs isn’t nearly enough to distract me from reminiscing about the quiet giggles we once shared.

I remember a joke whispered from your soft lips paused at my ear.  A small grin tugs my cheeks.  It is one of very few to visit me lately, and there is no promise of another in the near future.  Best friend. Confidant.  Amore. Hero. I miss you. 

The roaring thunder from another approaching storm calls me to sleep again. Again, with you constantly on my mind.

All Text ©2012 Lenise Lee Pubn.  All Rights Reserved.

Oh, sugar…Here comes the tidal wave

Romance icon
Romance icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As a personal preference, I try not to drop too many four or five letter words, but in cases likes these, it just cannot be helped.  (Substitute sugar for a word a lot less sweet and you’ll pick up the term I’m trying to disguise 🙂 ) This afternoon I went for my usual visit to a nearby park.  It’s my chance to reset my brain within the comforts of sub/urban nature.  As I was floating off into some random scene in my mind, I suddenly realized that the tidal wave was coming in fast, and this was only the first of many more to follow. My pulse was pounding and my heart was about to leap from beneath my shirt and jacket.   Every sentence that I had been frantically scribbling into my little notebook was filled with anguish and tears.  A quick flashback of my last few posts revealed the same — borderlining on that sullen mood that’s so popular in YA fantasy/fiction lately.   It seems as though I should be use to this climactic transition from ‘normal’ person to brooding author by now, but I’m never quite ready for the dramatic shift within myself.

I’ve been gearing up to draft a new short story, which will be planted right in the middle of an ongoing story arc filled with a lot of emotional baggage, so my sanity is about to be tested once more.  Remember that scene from Romancing The Stone…where the lady writer is crying her eyes out while she’s typing the conclusion of her latest romance novel? Well, except for an obvious difference in hair and skin tone, that’s pretty much how I look when my guys and gals are going through the aching upheavals of love gone wrong. Whenever my characters have to suffer, it means that I will have to suffer with them.  Likewise, when they have a chance to savor that first spicy kiss, so do I…all over again.   While I work my way through various facial expressions, in an effort to silently act out all the wavering pools of emotion running through my body, my sweetie has a great time walking by and flinging an amused grin at me.

The tidal wave is coming, but I know the end result will be worth the harrowing swim.  I’ve come to accept that the physical and mental exhaustion I go through are a sign of dedication to my craft.  If I don’t revisit the darker side of my psyche…If I can’t drudge out buried hopes and fears again…If I never stir up the simmering energy and passion waiting on the edge of my reality, my tale won’t blossom into colorful life, my creation won’t be filled with sincere wordplay, and my characters won’t discover the strength to fight for the love they have always dreamed of crossing paths with…From my gloom and giggles, a fresh infusion of romance flows forward and one more molten kiss leaps from the pages into a longing heart…LL♥

On the mornings that I want to give up…

This morning happened to be one of those days.

Each time I start a new blog or begin typing a new post, I can never decide if I want to use this space as a confessional diary or free advertisement for my books.  Do I want to share every intimate thought or remain a faceless set of words on the screen?

I’m not a professional blogger nor can I ever claim to have any success whatsoever in that category.  Unlike the ladies and gents who have tons of followers, I’m only witty with people I have known at least a decade or more, and only philosophical with the same number of friends that I can count on one hand.

I’m not a great romance writer, and my critics can easily tell you that.  I’m constantly battling with myself between wanting to compose sweet romantic literature or erotic chick lit…I can’t seem to find a comfortable spot in either one of those categories.  In person, I’m über studious and practical – actually just stepped in the door from a trip to the library – and also very sly with flashing brown eyes that have gotten me into interesting trysts more than once…As much as I want my tales to have some enduring moral meaning, my wild streak always shows up to wipe away my characters’ wholesome nature.

So, all in all, I don’t have a happy home in the literary world.

Those were most of my thoughts as I opened my eyes this morning and blinked away the odd dream I was walking through. Dear girl, what in the world are you doing with yourself?  Give up and go back to that corporate nest you loathed so much…at least the pay was steady and they had a matching IRA.  On second thought, start a gossip column…write about what those ladies with that long dark hair are doing today…They’re always trending, so there’s tons of cash to be made.  You’re fooling yourself…No one wants to fall in love anymore, they just want to keep up with the you-know-who’s.

I rolled over and tossed the blankets over my head…not defeated, but not motivated either.  No second round of sleep in sight, because the birds wouldn’t stop singing and the neighbor’s dogs – as in, wow, how many dogs do you have now? – were hysterical for attention – again!  Get up and get that agenda together…Write a new short story about that cute scene I was thinking of yesterday? – Nope, those suck, people want to read about sex, not holding hands in the park…A quick poem to share how miserable I feel at this moment? – Nah, they suck, too, can’t seem to balance out that whole sensual-heartbreak rhythm that grabs people’s attention.

After moping about how purposefully unproductive I wanted to be, it finally dawned on me…I haven’t asked the right question.  That one question that gets me moving again, brings a bit of cheer to my cheeks, and compels me to give this crazy dream another try.  What do I want?

A couple of months ago, I prayed Mother Theresa’s prayer.  Catholic isn’t my official denomination, but I needed something to really revive me, to get me excited about living life again.  It’s a multi-day prayer and the book tells you that something extraordinary is supposed to happen at the conclusion of the novena. Oh, boy…did it.  The personal firewall I had spent yyyeaarrrss erecting around myself suddenly disintergrated…I’m mean like…Oh my God, what the *bleep* happened?  A barren landscape of no hope on the horizon, no inspiration, no motivation, followed by a long series of bizarre…why me? what did I do wrong?…events one after another.  When it rains it pours is no expression to be taken lightly. How about drenched with no shelter in sight.

Truthfully, I’m still recovering from my sudden absence of laughter and optimism.  Even as I continue to emerge, shaking off the ash and haze as I go, I’m starting to realize that I’ve been looking at these downfalls from the wrong angle. Each time, I rise much stronger and more insightful than I once was.  My personal tragedies and triumphs drive my storytelling to its peak…Every story that has zapped a reaction out of a reader has been one written after I’ve come crawling out of an emotional death valley.  As odd as it sounds, when I’m immersed in my wallowing spirit, I can somehow tap into a reflecting pool of eternal truths. The flow of the story becomes genuine…a sort of pseudo-autobiography floats to the surface…bits of truth playing against dabs of fantasy, and is deeply felt by both the author, the characters, and the audience.

So, toward the conclusion of another day of tapping out my heart as an indie author, my inspirational question still needs to be answered, one more time…What do I want?  Fame? Fortune? Awards? Fans?  All of the above? None?  After a cleansing breath, the serene truth is returned to me, one more time…I want to reach across an indefinite number of miles and connect with just one person – you, Dear Reader.  If I can spark even the dimmest flicker of kinship within your thoughts and your heart, I’ve done my job and lived up to my purpose in life…Until then…one more day, one more time to start over and get it right is almost here…LL♥

At First Sight

Giovanni, My Love by Lenise Lee

A Tale of Romance, Suspense, and a dash of international intrigue…After surviving a terrifying scene in a dark alleyway, Marissa Stiles is soon caught off-guard for a second time. Her heated encounters with an intriguing stranger set the stage for the unsuspecting woman to be lured into a curious game of cat-and-mouse…Marcello Rossi, a gorgeous man with stunning blue eyes and a heart-melting silver tongue, seems determined to charm Marissa into submission, but are his affections sincere or a deadly snare? Wherever Marco goes, a malevolent presence follows, and it has cast its cruel glare on tormenting Marissa…

Agent Marcello (Marco) Rossi has pursued a valuable treasure across international waters. His chase has led him onto a collision course for falling under the spell of a beautiful suspect. After saving Marissa Stiles from the hands of a masked villain, the covert soldier becomes inescapably distracted by a pair of lovely hazel eyes…One thought continually plagues him: Are Marissa’s seductive glances genuine? Or are they only a clever game of misdirection to keep Marcello from capturing his target?

First Sequel to ‘After the Sunset’ and ‘The Christmas Gift’

Read Excerpt from Giovanni, My Love 

Flame

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Like a moth drawn to a sizzling flame…Can I ever be free of him?…Unquenchable allure…in those deceptive promises of forever…What is it about you…that refuses to release me…from the spell of roguish blue eyes and soft rosy pink lips…that I want to forget…to taste in a spiraling kiss…all in the same breath…that tempt me continually as they drip with greedy need for my gentle curves…hunger for my butterscotch skin…Escape…then recapture…a seemingly endless cycle of wanting you desperately…running from your dangerous charm…circling round to wanting you with a renewed, forbidden passion…again…Let me go…take me back…Forgetting you…calling you close once more…Too much…Its always too much when our lives collide together in a blinding, infernal spark…secrets confessions from fingertips…so no one else will hear our weakness…I love you…I hate you…I love you more, he says…two hearts confessing undeniable obsession with our intoxicating, erotic…strangely blissful…misery…loves company…Never read this…Never see these words…Never know how much I crave you…to touch your consuming flame…to feel the sting of wretched desire…one last time…Like a curious, timid moth drawn to an inferno of dripping wet delights…Let me go, I whimper…take me back, he whispers…Love you…hate me…

©2012 Lenise Lee Pubn. All Rights Reserved.

Falling

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Was I wrong to trust you completely?

Joy is quickly fading

dimming into a faint whisper…almost gone

Was I wrong to abandon my dreams in pursuit of you?

Promises of forever dwindling

so far out of reach now…nearly invisible

Was I wrong to think I would possess your heart like no other before me?

Drained of sparks of hope

waiting for an embrace…never to arrive

Was I wrong to believe you to be my truest love?

If so, tell me please

No more blowing in a dry, aimless wind

slowly

coming

undone

 

©2012 Lenise Lee Pubn. All Rights Reserved.

 

Beautiful by Lenise Lee

I like to believe that I was born with an elegant and quiet strength.  These are personal qualities that I value and I have a habit of granting my female characters these same traits. But…what about those moments when I’m weak and unable to hold up a dwindling resistance? Everyone has a limit, an absolute breaking point when only the tender touch of another human being will help us rise from the shadows.  When and if we fall…who will be there to help lift us up again?

These were the questions I pondered while pulling this tale together.  It presents a teasing and seemingly simple scenario…Follow your heart or allow your mind to lead the way?  Both forces hold equally powerful sway on the decisions we make from moment to moment every day of our lives….Which will emerge victorious this time? Desire or obligation?

As a side note…I originally considered titling this novella ‘Broken’; however, since I strive to remain an eternal optimist, I chose the name that brought the biggest smile to my face‘Beautiful’with a faint hope that simply reading this word of praise would do the same for some restless heart on the other side of this screen…LL♥

Broken

falling

fading

fragmented

pieces of me scattering

dark

dim

despair

no silver halo to guide fragile eyes

Spark

Shimmer

Splendor

Dawn treading triumphantly along the golden horizon

Rising

Radiant

Reborn

broken no more, Hope Revived. Rescued.

Synopsis

Miyah has a choice to make…Her intimate attachments to the two men in her life possess the power to draw her closer to her heart’s desire or bind her from taking a chance on true love…Which destiny will she choose?

Excerpt

“And, of course,” a tiny dimple appeared in her chin as she spoke, “the first taste goes to the boss.”

Miyah carefully picked up one of the fancy treats and turned to Shawn.  A playful smirk ran across her mouth as she held the dessert near his face.  Her impish stare locked onto irises the color of white crystal surrounded by a halo of ocean blue.  Hot pink lips stretched opened and prepared to sink into the heavy whipped cream but, at the very last second, Miyah withdrew the cupcake from within his tongue’s reach.  A heavy laugh rumbled from the square chest underneath Shawn Dougherty’s white linen shirt.  The top buttons of his dress shirt were undone, and Miyah watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down with each deep chuckle he released. 

Shawn leaned forward again.  This time, the teasing woman didn’t disappoint him…

All Text ©2012 by Lenise Lee Pubn. All Rights Reserved.

I missed that mark again…

Over these past two years, I’ve spent considerable time contemplating this ‘mark’ I’m supposed to be hitting, and I keep coming up empty.  I’ve seen this word pop up a few times and it never fails to boggle my mind.  Perhaps this is the reason why artists make some of the worst critics for the creative works of their own hands.  As I sit back and allow my memory to float over various tales I have drafted — some published, many idling away on my flash drive — I come up dry every time I try to pin point this exact mark that I should be striving for.  Should I be in tune with the harmony driving the story or worried about if the characters have consummated their lusts fast enough to satisfy the roaming eyes floating across the screen?

Commercialism demands that an artist hit a specific peak to be considered successful; creativity, however, allows for growing pains and whole-hearted blunders…There’s deep meaning behind that badge of honor starving artist. After much thought — plus three websites, an abandoned tweeting account, and two blogs later — I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best never to aim for this elite mark, which dictates both the erratic pace and stifled visionary wellspring of our generational pop culture. Though I can’t say I am guiltless of trying to chase after this deceptive goal, which always seemed so far beyond my efforts, I have come to realize the soul-pinching effects of my error.  I’d rather allow the burgeoning and sometimes off-beat creativity dripping from my fingertips and the shades of colorful fantasy swimming through my mind guide my romantic tales than to willingly destroy the true author budding inside of me in vain pursuit of that ever-ellusive…mark.