From the Mind Journal of Ethaniel, Crown Prince of Shadows

…I do not dream.

I have never dreamed.  If I did so as a young boy, I no longer hold those memories anywhere in my mind.

Even when I was still like the others, trapped between the chains of the dusk and dawn, I did not sleep.  I prowled.  I wandered.  I tormented and tortured.  I stalked.  I fed the pleasures of my flesh.  I starved the want of my soul.  Because it was my destiny, it was my right, it was my heritage.. or at least, that is what I had been taught.

During those long, dull hours, just after the sun touched the sky and before the howling packs were set free after twilight, I roamed the castle halls.. In search of.. I had no idea what..  I did not hunger.. for food, anyway… I did not need sexual gratification, but I would take it if the thought plucked my mind.. most of all, I did not sleep.  My handlers, Mother and Father, ensured that I was always always ALWAYS  at my prime.  In peak physical and mental condition at all times.  When I was a boy, a lashing for every time my eyelids fluttered close.  They watched watched WATCHED me constantly.  Looking for any flaw or any reason to punish me.  Training.  That’s what they called it.  For what glory is to come.  When the dark ones return.  But it was just relentless torment of a child who become a monster.  A monster who needed to feed on… whatever his wicked heart desired.. until.  That night.

The moment she burst through the doors, running from some unknown creature of the night… I sensed her… I smelled her… I craved her… I knew she belonged to me.  It was a rush more intense than anything I had every experienced.  It was the most perfect moment I had ever felt.  The pull of destiny.

She fought.  She fled.  She didn’t back down from the strength of my former… companion…  There was no fear in her.  Even with death’s blade barreling down upon her, she was already a true queen, ready to face the end with eyes open, a brave heart, and a steady hand.

Shay.

I do not sleep.

Yet, here I am.  In a dream.  Shay’s dream.

The feeling is uncomfortable.  Surreal.  Not being in control.  I am always in control.  Except that is no longer true.

My will is no longer my own.  It is hers.  To protect her.  To watch over her.  To follow wherever she leads.  I am hers, more than she is mine.  Is this what the ancients called, Love?

I have no time to contemplate this question.  We are not alone.

Though all is ink dark on every side, I know they are there.  I can see them; even though they are the unseeable ones.  No mortal may lay eyes upon them.  But I am no mortal.  I never have been.  I am something new.  I am what they had hoped to spawn.  For untold eons, my arrival was foretold.  Yet, I am not what they had expected.  I am a disappointment.  I can sense their anger… and fear.  My potential has been wasted.  My purity tainted.  Because of… her.  They loathe… and fear… her for what she has done to me.  She has turned my vision away from them and on to something more.  Something outside of their control and influence.  My eyes are looking at the dawn, but not their dawn.  Hers.  And those like her.

I am five steps behind her.  She does not know I am here.  But she does sense their presence.

They circle.  They plot.  They watch for a moment of attack.  But they cannot.

She is more powerful than they had anticipated.  They come so near, only to have to retreat.  She… or something else… is blocking their path.

And then.  Then it arrives.  Descending like a raging storm.  They all shriek and fall back.  They know not to interfere.  They have done their best, it will do the rest.  It will end her.

On instinct, I react.  My heartrate accelerates.  I feel my pupils dialate.  My body begins its change.  The change that was once the harbinger of doom for all that lay unfortuneately in my sphere.  But I am no longer confident.  Is this transformation to harm?  Or to help?  But harm who?  Help who?  The answer is no longer clear.  I am no longer their servant, so is my change to fight it?  Or assist its deadly rampage, about to break a terrible wave upon Shay?

I would never harm her.  Never.

I will myself to choose.  Choose now.  Choose who I will serve.  Choose who I will…  Love.

I chose her over all else before.  I can…I will… do so now.

I will fight.  I will die, if need be, for her.

The air turns dark… much darker than before.  An electric rage swirls around us.

It is closing in.   She stops moving, and so do I.   We do all things in sync.  It is an instinct we have now, undeniable, and unchanging.

I move my arms forward.  I am trying to grab her.  Pull her back, behind me.  Although I know we are strongest when we fight together.  It is my own instinct to want to protect her, to take on the hardest hit from this storm first.

But I cannot reach her.  She is only five steps in front of me, but in this nightscape it may as well be five hundred.

The atmosphere charges to its highest peak.  Our thoughts are one.  She is not ready.  She cannot stand against this enemy.  Perhaps later.  But not now…. can.  Because I was spawned from the will of this creature.  But I cannot position myself to save her.

My heart syncs.  My muscles tighten.  My nails dig deep into the palms of my fists.  I feel my teeth grinding down hard.

I cannot save her.  And this is the first time, ever in my life, when I am afraid.

And then.

The world around us goes motionless, soundless.

A grey dawn descends.

Shay and I are whipped from the nightmare.

Remember these things.

The message is for her.  I think.  I am not sure.  Are they speaking to me also?

My eyes blink open.  Dusk is rapidly descending.  The monsters will be on the move soon.

And then I think… Where are the children?

.

.

.

.

.

From By Moonlight : An Apocalyptic Fairytale by Lenise Lee

Copyright Lenise Lee Pubn, All Rights Reserved.

i can’t stop

thinking about the future. hoping to forget the past. struggling through the now.

no matter what. my heart beats strong. my spirit pulses free. my mind journeys beyond the moment.

a runner. waiting for the perfect race. counting down the seconds. taking the pose. head bowed. knees arched. fingers pressed into the earth.

ready?

set?

the world crawls to an aching stillness.

all of creation fixes into perfect silence.

the pop hits the air

stay the course

keep focused

pound the dirt until every limb burns

win.

there is no other choice

i can’t stop

until i touch the void

step across the finish

bring down the boundaries

break the binds

see the eternal light

i am

victorious.

.

.

.

.

lenise

Olympic pictogram Athletics

Forever Here

The flame in my heart flickers to renewed life

+++

Shades of creation,

richly irradiant

answer my beacon

illuminate my spirit

+++

Against the cloak of the cosmos,

embers of love burst forth with fiery perfection

+++

Across limitless oceans of midnight space,

flares of desire spiral into eternity

+++

Ever onward

Read more

Love’s Kiss

“Impossible,” she whispered.  The defiant word hung somberly in the warm breaths they shared.

     Though Marissa refused to speak her hope into existence, she finally understood the secret that bonded her spirit to Marcello with such startling intensity…almost at first sight

Cheers! My first Blogger Nomination!

I am so late with announcing this! Mostly because I was in shock and awe for quite awhile..basking in the warming glow that captured my mind when a fellow blogger included me on his fabulous list of nominees.

Thanks so much to C.C. Charron for making me feel extra special!  If you haven’t already done so, please hop over to his versatile e-gallery Off The Wall

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Here are the requirements for this award:

1. Display the award logo somewhere on the blog.

2. Link back to the blog of the person who nominated you.

3. State seven things about yourself.

4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs.

5. Notify those bloggers that they have been nominated and of the award’s requirements.

7 Random Facts about me:

1. Favorite actor / actress – Nicholas Cage and Sandra Bullock  (I’ve seen almost all of their individual movies…yes, even ‘All About Steve’ and ‘Valley Girl’ 🙂 )

2. My new hobby is Etymology ..language and words unite us as a society, why not learn how it all started?

3. I think chocolate should be its own food group

4. I love any dish crafted together in any combination of warm bread, red sauce, and cheese

5. I love nature..from a close distance..as in, lovely photos or short walks with socks pulled up to my knees, and running frantically from villainous-looking bugs and squiggly things

6. Christmas Eve is still the most exciting day of the year for me 😀 ..I love giving presents..and coupons!!

7. I love my family very much..None of us live more than fifteen minutes apart

Enough about me..Here is the best part..I can share the love with others much more deserving of the recognition for their inspiring and unique writing and/or imagery (my top two are well-loved for their contagious smiley faces and kind comments):

The 15 Nominees are…

1.  My story to you.. ♥

2.  Aina’s Blog ♥

3.  Avowel ♥

4.  L&L Photography ♥

5. rastelly ♥

6. PRESIDENTS OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM

7. kenyanideology

8. Source of Inspiration

9. Kira Moore’s Closet

10. FOREVER POETIC

11. ♡ The Tale Of My Heart ♡

12.  AmazinglyBrash

13. LadyRomp

14. STORYTELLER

15. Ratzone’s Blog

Please visit their blogs for a smile, a laugh, to share an intriguing thought, or to be in the presence of creativity at its peak.

Have an awesome night all! ..LL♥ Read more

Stormy Night

Cminda Sameba, stormy day
Cminda Sameba, stormy day (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A smiling face, halfway hidden by a fluffy pillow, looks up at me. Love beams bright in that one blue eye.  A sudden stream of tears washes away the endearing vision.  When my eyes open, the dream vanishes back behind the veil of thin air it was summoned from. I know I should abandon these wandering thoughts of you, but the memories refuse to budge.

Never consummated, always a seductive fantasy we danced and teased our way around.  Sweet kisses, cozy hugs, tender words spoken under moonlit skies. That was our story, and it was perfection.  

Kind people say that I should move on toward new horizons. They can’t see how the sun doesn’t appear as golden to me now that I’m perched up on this hilltop all alone.  Lonely in a room filled with lively souls. A feeling that no one else will ever quite understand until the experience is draped around them. Their symphony of laughs isn’t nearly enough to distract me from reminiscing about the quiet giggles we once shared.

I remember a joke whispered from your soft lips paused at my ear.  A small grin tugs my cheeks.  It is one of very few to visit me lately, and there is no promise of another in the near future.  Best friend. Confidant.  Amore. Hero. I miss you. 

The roaring thunder from another approaching storm calls me to sleep again. Again, with you constantly on my mind.

All Text ©2012 Lenise Lee Pubn.  All Rights Reserved.

Falling

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Was I wrong to trust you completely?

Joy is quickly fading

dimming into a faint whisper…almost gone

Was I wrong to abandon my dreams in pursuit of you?

Promises of forever dwindling

so far out of reach now…nearly invisible

Was I wrong to think I would possess your heart like no other before me?

Drained of sparks of hope

waiting for an embrace…never to arrive

Was I wrong to believe you to be my truest love?

If so, tell me please

No more blowing in a dry, aimless wind

slowly

coming

undone

 

©2012 Lenise Lee Pubn. All Rights Reserved.

 

I missed that mark again…

Over these past two years, I’ve spent considerable time contemplating this ‘mark’ I’m supposed to be hitting, and I keep coming up empty.  I’ve seen this word pop up a few times and it never fails to boggle my mind.  Perhaps this is the reason why artists make some of the worst critics for the creative works of their own hands.  As I sit back and allow my memory to float over various tales I have drafted — some published, many idling away on my flash drive — I come up dry every time I try to pin point this exact mark that I should be striving for.  Should I be in tune with the harmony driving the story or worried about if the characters have consummated their lusts fast enough to satisfy the roaming eyes floating across the screen?

Commercialism demands that an artist hit a specific peak to be considered successful; creativity, however, allows for growing pains and whole-hearted blunders…There’s deep meaning behind that badge of honor starving artist. After much thought — plus three websites, an abandoned tweeting account, and two blogs later — I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best never to aim for this elite mark, which dictates both the erratic pace and stifled visionary wellspring of our generational pop culture. Though I can’t say I am guiltless of trying to chase after this deceptive goal, which always seemed so far beyond my efforts, I have come to realize the soul-pinching effects of my error.  I’d rather allow the burgeoning and sometimes off-beat creativity dripping from my fingertips and the shades of colorful fantasy swimming through my mind guide my romantic tales than to willingly destroy the true author budding inside of me in vain pursuit of that ever-ellusive…mark.